


Different, yet the same.

by Ju_ne



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, Sad, change the fucking laws pls, i don't know why I wrote this and why you should read it but here we are, lesbian wedding, no happy ending, really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-24 20:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22163683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ju_ne/pseuds/Ju_ne
Summary: A sad but beautiful story of a woman trying to save the life of her soulmate.
Relationships: Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Siyeon
Kudos: 11





	Different, yet the same.

**Author's Note:**

> This is totally inspired by a MV that I really love and that helped me realize the importance of equal rights for homosexual couples...   
> This story is super sad don't read if you're not feeling well, I don't know if I could write all the emotions correctly but every time I watch the MV I can't help but cry... so yeah, you've been warned! Major Character death! Sad Fic!!!!

12th November 2014

A nurse is taking care of cleaning the bedroom while I’m folding the clothes I had brought for Yoohyeon on the now empty bed. The fabric is soft under my hands. My eyes are still burning with tears, my heart still aching silently.

I keep looking at the clothes when another nurse enters the room, I want to be left alone right now but I understand they’re simply doing their job.

“- Ms. Kim Siyeon? May I ask you a question?” the nurse asks me softly. I take a deep breathe, am I still even able to talk…

“- Go ahead.”

“- You were a member of Ms. Kim Yoohyeon’s family, is that right?”

“-Yes.”

“- What was your relation with her exactly?” The nurse adds.

The first nurse opens the curtains as I finally raise my head, tears filling my eyes once more.

11th November 2014

I’m holding Yoohyeon’s hand as we’re rushing her in the hospital. She’s lying there on the stretcher, that the nurses are pushing, almost running. The doctor is finally joining us, asking the emergency team what’s her situation. I faintly hear all these medical terms without totally understanding them but I do understand that the situation is really and her body is failing her.

I can’t lose her. Not like that. Not now. I just want to her to open her eyes and smile at me softly once more.

Her hand is warm and if we weren’t in this situation, I would think she’s simply asleep.

The team is rushing around me, yelling orders, bringing heavy machines. As I feel a hand on my shoulder I raise my head to see that the doctor is talking to me. I realize how panicked I am at this instant, I look at him without understanding what he is telling me.

“- Excuse me?” I reply, trying to recover my spirit and listen to him.

“- Ma’am you have to go out and let us work, I will join you as soon as possible to keep you updated on the situation.”

“- But…” No. I can’t leave her side now, I need to be close to her, to support her, to help her.

“- I know I know, please hurry up.” The doctor insists. I let go of her hand and can feel my heart breaking. My own hands are shaking badly, I look at her one last time before the curtains are quickly closed. I look at them, a feeling of emptiness filling my chest.

I stand there for a while, unable to move, unable to think.

I won’t be of any use here even if I really wish I could do something. All I can do is head to the waiting room and stay there until the doctor comes back. I sit on a chair, hoping for the best, trusting the medicine and its progress. I have never been a religious person, and I realize even in such an extreme situation, nothing but my love for Yoohyeon and hope are helping me not lose my mind. I try to stay positive as I wait.

Every second feels like an hour. I’m a mess, fighting the darkest thoughts. I reassure myself, my Yoohyeon is a fighter, she’s going to be okay. We had faced so much together, this can’t be the end yet.

I don’t really know how long I waited here when the doctor joins me, papers in his hands, a sad look on his face… This can’t be good.

“- Ms, Ms Kim Yoohyeon needs a surgery as soon as possible, I have those papers that need to be signed. May I ask you what’s your relation with the patient?”

“- We’re friends, best friends, we’ve been living together for 30 years, I’m the closest person to her!” I explain, but I already know what he is going to say. He looks at the papers with hesitation.

“- We still need a family member to sign the form, if not-”

“- Please, you said she needs the surgery as soon as possible… I’m begging you!” I tell him. It’s going to be probably long and difficult to join a member of her family, most of them stop contacting her when we started to live together, unable to accept our relationship.

“- I’m sorry. These are the rules of the hospital, I can’t go against that.”

I hate this world, I hate those rules. I’m the closest person to her, our love is the same as any couple, and still we can’t get married so according to our country’s rules, I’m literally no one to her. Me. No one. We had been through so much together and still, I’m helpless in this situation. I hate this world.

Yet, she’s my person, and I’m hers.

No time to lose, Yoohyeon’s counting on me and I need to find someone to sign those papers. I took my phone out of my pocket and check my contact list, thinking who would agree to come and who would be the quickest.

Her nephew is probably the best, he had always been a kind boy and even if he doesn’t meet her often, he’s the only one who visits us during the New Year celebrities.

I open his contact files and hit the call button.

Please pick up.

Please pick up.

Please pick up.

“- Hello?”

Thank you, thank you, thank you, I’m so relieved to hear his voice at the other side of the line.

“-Minho, it’s Siyeon! I’m so sorry to bother you, I have a huge favor to ask you.”

“- Auntie, is everything okay?” he says, probably hearing the panic in my voice.

“- I’m okay, but Yoohyeon really needs you. She’s at the hospital right now, I’m with her… she needs a surgery and the doctor needs a family member to sign the papers beforehand… I’m sorry to bother you with that but I didn’t know who else to call, you know what the rest of her family thinks about us…” Tears are filling my eyes once again, I’m trying to stay strong for my Yoohyeon but this is getting harder and harder, this situation is so unfair.

“- Which hospital are you in? I’ll be here as soon as possible!”

I breathe a little, at least this was easy. Now, we wait again. I know he won’t arrive so soon since he lives at the other side of the city and the traffic is dense at this hour.

He finally arrives 50 minutes later. 53 minutes exactly, I couldn’t stop watching the hour on my watch as soon as I hung up the phone, knowing each minute passing means the chances of recovery for my Yoohyeon are getting lower. The doctor didn’t say that exactly, but he did said that she needs the surgery as soon as possible, I’m not an idiot, and this helped me realizing that I needed to stay down to earth because this situation is even more complicated that it should be.

If we were married, she would already be undergoing the surgery. But no, idiots running our country can’t simply accept our love and decided that we shouldn’t have the same rights as everyone else. I hate that, I just want to save my other half, is that a crime?

We sign the papers with the doctor, I look at Minho writing his name on the form. The gesture itself is so simple and still, my lover’s life relies on that. I can see the doctor looking at me with a sad look. Oh boy, I don’t need your pity, I need you to be strong and do your job. He seems young and is probably simply sorry for me but I’m obviously not in the right state of mind right now.

When everything is in order, the doctor asks us to wait once more and leaves quickly to prepare Yoohyeon’s surgery. I watch his back running through the doors. I’ll trust her to you doctor.

Minho put a hand on my shoulder:

“- I’m sorry Auntie but I have to go back, my wife is alone with our two kids and the little one is sick, I can’t leave her alone in this situation. Please keep me updated for Yoohyeon. Stay strong.”

He gives me a warm hug, he’s tall and strong but his embrace is soft and warm, this feels nice, I can feel he truly cares. No one’s life is easy and I understand that he can’t stay as I watch him leaving too.

Once again I’m alone, I go back to the waiting room and sits on the same chair, it’s getting to be familiar in an uncomfortable way. No one should get used to that.

I wait.

One hour, the time pass by slowly, I’m so worried for my Yoohyeon and can’t help but feel so helpless, bitter and betrayed by our society. I just love her, I just want to help her, I just want to save her and yet I’m unable to because of “rules” that humans created, totally going against what nature planned for us. We didn’t chose to be like that, we were born this way, it was even proven, and yet some people still think we’re “unnatural”. This is the worst, I had always done my best to be kind and respectful towards everyone around me and this is how the world thanks me?

I used to believe this place would become better and more accepting with homosexual people, I used to be hopeful but right now, I’m only angry and devastated.

Two hours, I’m tired. The anxiety, the sadness, the dark thoughts had exhausted my now old body. I just want to see my Yoohyeon, I just want to go home with her. Elbows resting on my knees, I had my face in my hands when I hear footsteps getting closer. I raise my eyes to see the doctor joining me. He sits down next to me. We’re alone in the waiting room. I’m scared. He seems tired and he’s avoiding to look at me in the eyes. No. It can’t be. It’s a joke right? A bad joke, but a joke right?

“- The surgery… was difficult. The damages were larger than we expected. Really larger, her brain had been really too damaged. Irreversibly. We did everything we can, but, it’s too late. Please come with me, you’ll have time to say goodbye.”

My brain freezes. I don’t want to say good bye yet! I want to yell, I want to run away from this hospital, from those white walls surrounding me, from this silent hell.

I didn’t even realize that I had start walking, following the doctor, but I came back painfully to the reality when he opens the door and I finally see my Yoohyeon lying down on her bed, the heart monitor next to her beeping at a calm rhythm. The doctor proceeds to explain to me how her brain is now too damaged and how her heart will surely stops soon. I want to ask if she had the surgery earlier, would it have been possible to save her but I’m way too scared to hear the answer to that question. I quietly nod to let the doctor know I understood his explanations. He leaves and closes the doors behind him.

“- Yoohyeonie, it’s me.” I said as I take her hand in both of mine. “I’m sure you recognized me anyway, you were telling me just the other that you loved how our hands still fits perfectly together.”

I try not to cry, I don’t want to leave her like this, I want to show her that I’m strong, I want to remind her that what truly matters is the love we have for each other under any circumstances and how this will never fade. So I tell her, once more, how much I love her, how she literally changed my life for the best, how I couldn’t have been happier to spend my time with her, how I will never forget about her. She’s my soulmate, a part of her will always live in my heart. After spending more time talking about my feelings and our memories, I decide to sing one last song for her. I haven’t sung in a while but I should be alright if I can control my emotion for a minute. I kiss her forehead gently before telling her my intention to sing her favorite song. I don’t let go of her hand, sit straight on my chair and starts to sing, looking at her cute resting face.

Her favorite song was a beautiful love song, this is the perfect way to tell her once again how much I adore her. I haven’t sung like that in a long time but I do my best to pour all my emotions on my voice once more, hoping it will reach her.

I hit the last note and take a deep breathe. I hold her hand tightly and tell her one more time that I love her.

Suddenly, the heart monitor that was beeping regularly until now emits a continuous beep…

This time, I can’t hold the tears anymore… My Yoohyeon is gone, for real, forever… I become numb, my brain stops functioning, this is way too painful, I don’t want to lose her, I just want to see her smile again, I just want to go home with her…

My heart aches, my lungs are burning, the tears are falling… The pain is too strong to handle, I’m closing my eyes and can feel that I’m losing consciousness, surrounded by the darkness…

When I open my eyes again, the pain is gone, I’m surrounded by a beautiful warm white light. Everything is calm and peaceful, I don’t know where I am but when I turn around, Yoohyeon is facing me, wearing a splendid wedding gown. Her face looks so young, she’s probably 30 years old. I hold up my hand to reach her, I can see that my skin is smooth and pale, it seems I’m back to my 30s too. I’m also wearing a wonderful white dress… This is finally the day we had always wanted but could never have, a special day to celebrate our love. 

I take her hand and look at her beautiful face, her heartwarming smile that will be forever engraved on my memory… We look at our rings together, they’re absolutely perfect, this is exactly everything we couldn’t have because the laws never allowed us to.

But this, this is against any rules, this is our world, our love, our rules, our dream. I’m the happiest, Yoohyeon is mesmerizing, we don’t even need to talk because we know why we’re here, we know how inseparable we are anyway… This is a dream becoming true and I never want to wake up.

Holding my now beautiful wife by the waist, I lean forward to kiss her softly, we don’t rush, simply enjoying the moment, sealing our love in this instant forever.

** 12th November 2014 **

“- Ms. Kim Siyeon? May I ask you a question?” the nurse asks me softly. I take a deep breathe, am I still even able to talk…

“- Go ahead.”

“- You were a member of Ms. Kim Yoohyeon’s family, is that right?”

“-Yes.”

“- What was your relation with her exactly?” The nurse adds.

The first nurse opens the curtains as I finally raise my head, tears filling my eyes once more.

“- She’s my wife.”

**Author's Note:**

> The MV that inspired, more than inspired since I basically put in a fic what's happening in the MV is Jolin Tsai's "We're all different, yet the same". the song is absolutely beautiful and the MV so touching!   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7hHofDW2ts (original)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sXEZs2QzKc (eng sub, it's weird but you can understand what is said at least.)  
> The first time I saw it I realized... Marriage isn't only a fancy paper, it can allow you to really protect your family... so yeah, let's all keep fighting for equal rights all around the world!   
> Anyway I'm a mess tonight and I just wanted to share these story to more people because through the sadness, it carries a beautiful and important message!   
> Love is Love


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